The Overt Tendencies Of Jeremy Memberinhaler

The night was particular cold and still. Gracing Jeremy's cheeks with splinter like sensation, were the first breezes of the coming winter. As he looked across the street into a crowd of his peers, he thought how inferior they were to him. Complete fools with lack of any knowledge outside their pathetic lives. In an arrogant sigh, he coupled these thoughts with the near euphoric time he would be spending soon, nestled at his computer desk, enjoying the wonders of the internet and the like. With a final drag from his cigarette, he pocketed his hands into his overbearing jacket, and departed the bus-stop intersection. When he arrived home he was greeted with a letter taped to the door.

"Son, went out with Tim, be back later, there are some tv diners in the freezer.


He sighed as he often does whilst he opened the door, and crumpled the paper up with a quick toss to the trash in the kitchen. His mother was, to his knowledge, presumably a whore. Every other friday night she was with Tim, or Tom, or Howard or George, and peculiarly enough she was, at times, with both Howard and George.

Though he didn't think about that, just as he didn't think about his failing grades, or his dying father, or anything bad at all. No, it was now time to channel that all out. In a systematic order he scooped up a drink from the kitchen, dumped his book bag unto the bed, and begun his "happy-time".

Enter, Colonel Oscars Chaotic Knights, an MMORPG that pits you with the epic task of slaying countless enemies of the order of COCKS. It was Jeremy's favorite at the time. He had a level 50 COCK Guardian that could sway any non COCK into the way of the COCKS. That is to say, had a special ability to make enemies his allies for a short time. He enjoyed that exploitation of his foes. A certain level of humiliation to make them turn on each other, it somehow gave him a boost of vigor and excitement. With a tap of his transmit button.

"hey guys", he muttered into his headsets microphone, In unison his some 40 guild mates gave their greetings, a one Korbel had a particularly annoying problem with his audio set up, as he neglected head sets, his greeting was especially loud, echoing the many others. To jeremys un-luck his computer lagged a bit as they said hello and the deafening sound of the unison greeting was repeated over and over while COCKs loaded. He quickly yanked off his head set unto the desk and stared in amazement as they vibrated and sightly moved about. Once it stopped he put his head set back on and heard a mass of transmissions layered onto each other, incomprehensible he could only gather a few "Wanna play COCKs?"

"Yeah, I'm ready lets do this." Jeremy spoke with certain excitement. "Ugh you better not suck so much this time." Korbel spoke in a cruel tone. "yeah, whatever" He replied.

And so the Adventures began, the mighty COCKs talked about their execution of each quest completion and collaborated their skills to fulfill certain task brought upon them by the needy NPCs of the game world. It was in this time that rage was growing within Jeremy as korbel would condemn him for even the slightest mistakes that he would do. The bane of society, was invading Jeremy's happy-time, and Korbel was it's vehicle. Though he was quite good at shielding himself from others mockery, so he continued to play.

Their travels brought them to an epic dungeon where epic loot could be had. Most of the group wanted to take a break and so Jeremy did. He took off his head-phones and realized he was still wearing his shoes. After taking them off he made another trip to the kitchen, petting the family dog, skip whom he usually ignores. Then he made his way back to his room, locking himself in.

"Alright lets do this." And so the adventure into the dungeon commenced. A few deeds were to be carried out here and everyone was more than happy to do them.

After slaying many beast they finally came to an epic guardian boss.

"O.K, he's 80, but we can take him." one of the guild mates shrieked as they engaged combat.

"Stun him quick!"...."Heal me!"..."Almost there!!"

The battle was no easy task, indeed Jeremy's charater was near death many times through it, but in the end the group of four came out victorious. They reveled and basked in their victory.

"See what kind of drop he has" one party member started. Korbel was first on the loot before all the others as it was, and by chance obtained an epic guardian item he couldn't use, but was worth more than his wallet could carry.

"I could really use that, Korbel!" Jeremy exclaimed in his transmission. "Well, too bad, I've got it and I'm selling it!" "I nearly died three times fighting that boss!" Jeremy replied hastily. "Get over it, I'm rich!" Korbel chuckled. At that moment, Jeremy's rage finally surfaced from it's ever-filling bottle. "You can't even use it!!!" He shouted. A few of the group members laughed at his anger. "Like I said get over it, haha"


With the final transmission, Jeremy turned off his computer in certain rage and ripped the mouse cord off the computer, flinging it behind him. "Fucking korbel, always ruining things! REEE!!!" He stormed out of his room and pushed skip aside roughly. He thought he needed some fresh air so he waltzed towards the exit, grabbing a pack of cigarettes before he left. Absently mindedly he left the door open and skip curiously followed. The dog sniffed at his pants while he looked out his front lawn in anger. He looked down to notice the dog had something in his mouth, and with further examination he found it was his computer mouse covered in thick saliva. "You fucking dog!" He murmured under his breath. With widen eyes, he took his way to the back yard, and the dog followed.

"I'll show you, you fucking dog!" he shouted, as he found a gasoline tank on the porch. Whilst grunting over and over again he took the top off and soaked the dog with the putrid liquid, laughing in anger. Skip just sat there patiently staring at his master with the mouse still soaking in his jaw grip. "I'll fucking show you!" grasping the cigarette held in his mouth he took one finally look at the dog, it's innocently questioning eyes, and confused, cute head movements, ready to throw the cigarette unto it's fur, his countenance transitioned from anger, to sympathetic regret, as he sense came back to him. "Jesus, what am I doing?!" He questioned himself in a low voice as he flicked the cigarette far into the yard. "I'm so sorry skip! Lets get you washed off before mom gets back!" He closed the back, and front door after the leading the dog in and sighed in relief that his anger had faded. The dog hoped on the sofa as Jeremy lef to get a fresh towel from the dryer to dry him off. "ugh" he complained as skip shook himself trying to get the gasoline off. At this jeremy giggled "calm down boy, i'll get you dry." His arms reached out with towel in hand and with certain un-luck, static electricity sparked inbetween skip and the towel. In an instance it was aflame. Jeremy staggered back in astonishment. "Holy fuck!" Skip yelped as it leaped this way in that gloriously setting aflame to all that it touched. Dumbfounded, Jeremy wasn't sure what to do, he observed a bit more, horrifed at the scene. "Skip! No!!" the dog was now heading towards the lavish draperys his mother had purchased only weeks ago. "FUCK!"

(You have to connected to the COCKs Emperium Guild Ventrilo server)

"sup guys" Korbel happily transmitted. The formidable simutaneous greeting followed.

"Anyone seen Jeremy?" A guild memeber asked.

"Not since that rage-quit..." Korbel replied.

1 comment:

kuebel said...

I give it a 7/10